The Pledge Douche

As initiated brothers our duty was to provide a warm welcome to our newest trial members, pledges.  Each semester 15 to 25 pledges moved into our house.  We provided them guidance on how to dress (pledge pins were a must), how to be gentleman and gave instructions on the rules of the greek system.  As I mentioned in an earlier post, the Inter Fraternity Council (IFC) ruled that kegs of beer were not allowed in a fraternity house.  Occassionally the IFC audited against this rule by making surprise inspection visits to the houses in the greek system.  We often broke that rule.  If IFC arrived at the house the pledges were responsible to get the keg out of the house through the back door well before the auditor made their way through the house. 

Knowing this, the pledges were ultra sensitive to getting the job done when IFC came knocking.  We took advantage of this sensitivity.  We planned ahead, filling 5 gallon buckets full of the table scraps from dinner.  Filled the rest with stale keg beer and water and let the bucket fester on the fire escape at the back of the house, which was directly above the back door of the house’s cafeteria.  The next day we topped the bucket off with ice.

We called the house phone, which was always answered by a pledge within 3 rings.  When the pledge answered we identified ourselves and told them that they needed to gather 5 of their pledge brothers, grab the keg in the cafeteria and carry it out the back door.  IFC IS HERE!

The unsuspecting pledge grabbed as many of their cohorts as they could in quick order, ran down to the cafeteria, grabbed the keg and rushed out the back door.  As they waited just under the fire escape outside the back door, Bloomberg and I would quietly look down on them from above.  Giggle then dump the festering 24 hour sun cooked stale beer/cheap fraternity house dinner scraps/ice sludge down onto thier heads.  That shit stunk.  

We’d be able to get about 2 groups per pledge class before the word spread.   From then on, pledge douche weekend was a treat for everyone, except the pledges.

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~ by Stan Gable on September 25, 2008.

2 Responses to “The Pledge Douche”

  1. Thanks for reminding me Gable, you sick bastard.

  2. I heard they were doing stuff like this to to detainees at Gitmo until the Red Cross made ’em stop ….

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