Who are you guys?

Just a few fraternity brothers who thought these stories deserved a home. If you are offended we don’t give a shit.


One Response to “Who are you guys?”

  1. The first time I had ever even “heard” of EVH was also my first night as a pledge at 809 South Providence. In the middle of the night, JB, who I believe was house manager at the time, sounded an all hands on deck warning that the EVH was attempting to enter the house by stacking trash cans on top of each other and climbing the cans to reach the SECOND floor of the house through windows that were open. As pledges and brothers alike woke up and strolled the house with and without clothing, I had the feeling of a scared sailor on the deck of the USS Arizona as a sudden yell of “CAW CAW” was heard from outside the house. I heard the noise and instantly felt like the douchebags on Kong Island when they first heard Kong roar somewhere in the distance. As chaos ensued, we pledges learned what had been somewhat of a secret (presumably to ensure we would sign up without regret). The secret was that the brothers were attempting to blackball EVH without him knowing. EVH had somehow discovered on his way to full blown persona non grata with a simple majority vote. Persona non grata means “Take your ball and go the fuck home” in Latin turned Greek speak. In any case, EVH fortunately was hammered and could not climb the trash cans, so he took to trying to open the door to the main floor, which had apparently not been locked. Suddenly there were 5-10 guys holding the door closed from inside the house as EVH tried to open it with seemingly super human (CAW! CAW!) strength. JB yelled through the door “EVH, you are not wanted here, so LEAVE…go SLEEP IT OFF! EVH simply replied, “CAW! CAW! CAW! CAW!). EVH also threatened to kill and maim each of the families of the brothers holding the door closed. Eventually, severe inebriation got the best of EVH and he suddenly vanished like a fart in the wind, presumably back home to hang out with his roommates, Destro and Cyclops. My first night at 809 S. Providence was over…

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